“Negligent Handshake” Leads to Lawsuit Between Lawyers

Call it, perhaps, a handshake disagreement.

Two Florida lawyers are meeting in court because of a handshake that one of the attorneys claims left him in “severe pain.”

It may sound silly.  But George H. Vallario, Jr., 76, claims that the suit is no joke.  Vallario contends that his friend Peter Lindley, 60, shook his hand so violently hard that it caused him recurring pain. 

What’s more, Vallario claims that this lawsuit might even have been avoided if his buddy Lindley had “just apologized.” 

Alas, with no apology forthcoming, Vallario is seeking $100,000 in damages for the handshake injury or “as much as [he] can get” for the pain and suffering that was caused by the oppressive handshake.

Channeling his internal Jackie Chlies, the famous plaintiffs’ lawyer character from Seinfeld, Vallario called the offending handshake “unexpected, unprovoked, uninvited, unauthorized, uncalled for, and most certainly negligent.”

No word yet on if Lindley’s defense will be based on the idea that if “the handshake don’t fit, you must acquit.”

Until death, or lawsuit, do us part?

A French man is suing the ride-sharing company Uber for ruining his marriage.

The accusation? The plaintiff claims that, once he had logged in to Uber on his wife’s phone, the app continued to provide her notifications of his pick-ups and drop-offs.  Whatever it was that his wife saw in those notifications allegedly motivated her to file for divorce.

Talk about a bad ride.

The lawsuit seeks an astonishing €45 million, or about $48 million, in damages for the “pain” caused to the plaintiff in the case.

The case is pending, so we have yet to see if the courts will pick up and take the defendants at Uber for a ride for this allegedly destroyed marriage.

New Jersey Man Sues Over Christmas Tree “Negligence”

So much for the Christmas spirit.

A New Jersey man is suing the owners of an apartment complex for injuries he claims he suffered because of a “recklessly, carelessly and/or negligently” discarded Christmas tree that caused him injury.

Kyu Taik Chung, of New Milford, claims that he suffered “severe and permanent injuries” from the discarded Christmas tree and that the experience has caused him “great pain and torment, both mental and physical.”

Let’s just say he wasn’t singing “O, Christmas Tree.”

Chung is currently seeking a jury trial and an unspecified amount in monetary damages.

Everyone sing along: “Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la lawsuit.”

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