An Illinois man who says he hurt his tooth while eating a peanut butter sandwich is suing the maker of the peanut butter and the store where he purchased it.

A man who kidnapped a couple at knifepoint while he was running from the police is now suing the victims, claiming that they promised to hide him in exchange for an unspecified amount of money.  The plaintiff, currently in jail, is seeking $235,000 for the alleged “breach of contract.”

Irony.  It’s defined as a result that is the opposite of what is or might be expected or considered appropriate.  Like when somebody who is fighting against ageism wants to remove a judge from his case for being too old.  That lawsuit is one of the nominees in this month’s most ridiculous lawsuit poll.

A 60-year-old musician is suing the group that ran the Young Concert Artists competition (entrants must be between 19 and 26) for age discrimination.  The organizers made an exception – after he threatened to sue – and allowed him to play in the opening auditions but cut him after a “’less than stellar” performance.

So he filed suit saying that he was discriminated against based on his age. Then he discovered that the judge assigned to his case was 88 years old.  In a ploy oozing with hypocrisy, the plaintiff moved to have the judge dismissed because he was too old.  The fight against age-based discrimination is too important to leave in the hands of the elderly judge said the plaintiff, although he did add that the judge “may have been a very learned jurist in his day” (emphasis added).  Geez, thanks for the compliment.

Another nominee for this month’s poll is also going to court over her age.  An unnamed 40-year-old actress is suing the website IMDB, saying the site seriously damaged her career prospects when it (accurately) published her age.  She says she looks younger than she is, so she has traditionally been cast in more youthful roles.  The defendant responds that the “plaintiff’s attempt to manipulate the federal court system so she can censor IMDb.com’s display of her birthdate and pretend to the world that she is not 40 years old is selfish, contrary to the public interest and a frivolous abuse of this court’s resources.” 

The plaintiff is suing for $1 million for the future work she will lose now that producers know her real age.  Incidentally, she credits her profile on IMDB for helping her land jobs when she was an unknown actress trying to break into the business.  Ironic.

Are either of these suits the most ridiculous lawsuit from the past month?  Or is it one of these?

• Woman sues over movie trailer; says not enough driving in ‘Drive’
• Suit claims placebo containing no medication caused rash
• Lawsuit says SeaWorld “enslaves” whales

Vote here.

Lawyers are asking for $8.6 million in fees and costs for their work on the case that resulted in a $27.5 million settlement, leaving $19 million to be split among 24 million class members – less than a dollar per customer.

A personal injury lawyer sued his health club after the club stopped offering complimentary breakfasts to members.  The lawyer wants $230,000 in damages for the missed meals, plus an additional $500,000 for what he says was a “libelous comment” from an club employee.

An inmate who is serving a life sentence has sued the Department of Corrections on the grounds that the soy and poultry diet that is served to inmates is cruel and unusual punishment.

Two passengers who were hurt during a drunken joyride in a stolen car are suing the 91-year-old owner of the car – who was on vacation when the car was swiped.

A California woman says that Justin Bieber is the father of her baby and is suing the pop star for child support.  She says she met him backstage at a concert when he was 16 and she was 19 (interestingly, if her allegations are true, she may be opening herself to statutory rape charges, given that the age of consent in California is 18).

A man unhappy with his wedding photos is suing the photographers for a refund of $4,100 – and an additional $48,000 to completely restage the wedding with his now ex-wife.

From the Drug and Device Law Blog: “plaintiff alleged that she got a rash from a placebo and she attempted to prove her claim with testimony from her artist-husband and a mold-specialist who hadn’t read her medical records or the clinical study at issue.”

An activist group has sued Sea World, accusing the park of “enslaving” killer whales.  The group says animals should be given the same rights as humans and are therefore protected against involuntary servitude under the 13^th amendment that prohibits slavery.

A 60-year-old musician who is suing for age discrimination wants the judge removed from the case – because he’s too old.  Ironically, the plaintiff says his fight against age-based discrimination is too important to leave in the hands of the 88-year-old judge.

The city of Pittsburgh will pay $269 to settle charges that police officers improperly used a stun gun to apprehend a suspect.  The city will also have to pay $62,000 to his attorneys (the attorneys originally asked for $92,000).

A Hollywood actress is suing a website for accurately publishing her age.  The 40 year-old actress wants $1 million from the site, claiming she will lose work if producers know her real age.

A judge in Los Angeles has denied an attorney’s fee request for $4.7 million in a suit that delivered a settlement value of $3.8 million.  The judge called the request “highly unreasonable,” considering the case “could not be simpler.”

A California mother, backed by a Washington DC group, has filed a lawsuit against General Mills, alleging that the company gives a false impression that their snacks are healthy.

A Michigan woman who claims she was misled by the trailers for the movie ‘Drive’ is suing the distributors of the film.  She says she was disappointed by the lack of driving in the film and was expecting something more similar to the ‘Fast and Furious’ films.

Continental Airlines is being sued by a passenger who says she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder caused by a turbulent flight.  The plaintiff says her new fear of flying has negatively impacted her career choices since she can no longer travel by air.

Proctor & Gamble has been sued by a consumer who is unhappy that, no matter how hard he tries, he can’t get the final bits of toothpaste out of the dispenser.

A New Jersey teen who was locked inside a park after closing is suing the city, saying he hurt himself when he was forced to jump over a fence to get out.